My Savior
by Kisses.in.the.dark95
Summary: After Mason's death and the events that unfolded in Frostbite Rose can't forgive herself and blames herself for everything that happened. Lissa doesn't understand and starts pushing her away and Dimitri isn't much help and looks at her with pity in his eyes, who is going to be the one to help Rose become her old self again? Rated M for language and adult themes
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys got a new story again :) please read and review I would much appreciate it. I'll try and update a better place sometime soon but I can't figure out what I want to do with it. So this story starts at the beginning of _Shadow Kiss._ I hope you all enjoy it and please review love always KissesInTheDark95 xx**

I could feel my fear and sadness all over again like the actual day. It felt like I was reliving this very moment all over again just like that day but I couldn't escape this nightmare.

"Get out of here!" I could hear myself yelling at Mason as he walked further into the room and out of the safety of the sunlight. The final fleck of sunlight gleaming off the tips of his hair as ignored me taking the few final steps out of safety coming towards me, coming to face Isaiah.

And then it happened all over again I was forced to watch in horror as Isaiah snapped Mason's neck and threw him to the side like he was nothing. His unresponsive eyes staring up at me taunting me as if saying _'you did this to me, you killed me!'_ Only this time though Mason did stand up pointing an accusing finger at me.

"You let me die Rose! You killed me! Now this time you're going to die too." He yelled at me before falling back to his position on the floor only this time he had a slight smirk upon his face.

I looked around confused waiting for Mia to explode the fish tank but it never happened not this time. All that happened was Elena held my arms behind my back and Isaiah coming closer to me with that evil look in his red eyes. He was done with his stupid speeches he was going to kill me this time, no hesitation no distractions. I looked over at Mason but he was dead just like he was in the real Spokane, face blank and eyes wide and unmoving.

"I will not make this pleasant for you little girl." Isaiah growled in my ear wrapping one hand around my neck and wove the other into my hair ripping my head back and exposing my neck. He beared his fangs and moved closer and closer to my neck.

I woke up sweating and panting when his fangs were millimetres away from my neck. I threw my blankets off and sat up, there was no way I was go back to bed after that nightmare. I stood up shaky legs feeling restless, sad and empty. I miss Mason and I still blame myself even when I'm unconscious. I shoved my feet into my slippers and left my room making dash for the bathroom at the end of the hall. I turned the cold tap on cupping my hands under the cool water and splashing it on my face. I looked up at the mirror, the reflection looking back at me had tangled hair, blood shot, and dark circles under them. I looked sleep deprived but I didn't want to go back to bed. Every night so far had been the same either a horrific nightmare or reliving the moment I lost Mason. Tonight I needed something to wake me up and shake away what I had seen.

I decided that I need to get out of the dorm. I snuck out the front past the moroi who was supposed to be watching and making sure that this exact situation didn't happen. The cold wind blasted me in the face reminding me of being on the ski hills with Mason but I welcomed it for now. I was a pleasant distraction from the nightmare, it reminded me of the happier time with him. The slush from the melting snow seeped through the cloth of my slippers but right now I couldn't bring myself to care. I walked around the side of my building towards the spot between it and the gym. It was 5pm the start of the vampire morning, the sun was just setting and sometime in the next three hours everyone will be waking up and getting themselves ready for the day.

Again I'd only gotten a maximum of four hours sleep, this was starting to become a recurring problem. I set down on the bench and tried to relax but I couldn't stop thinking about everything. I ran my hand across my wrists feeling the scars that were left from the burnt plastic of the flexi-cuffs. A constant reminder that my plan wasn't good enough, my guardian skills weren't good enough, and of how much of a terrible person I am leading someone on and evidently causing their death. I was deep in thought when someone sat down beside me. I was still fingering my scars when he spoke.

"None of this is your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself, you're worrying Lissa and all your friends not to mention how worried Dimitri is about you. Frankly Rosie you're starting to scare me." He paused for a minute. "You didn't even react to me calling you Rosie! Speak to me Rose we all just want to help you."

I just stared at him for a few moments. "You were there Christian! God you were trapped in that place with me, you were taunted by those monsters as well. I can't forget it and move on, I sure as fucking hell can't forgive myself, and don't say that it isn't my fault! If I hadn't of lead Mase on for those weeks before he wouldn't have felt the need to come back and save me!" I yelled and a few tears fell down my cheeks. I looked away from him and brushed them off my cheeks and began rubbing at my eyes. "What're you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be sleeping still?"

"So should you Rose, I woke up early and decided to go for a walk. Rose I might've been there but I wasn't there when he was killed, you really need to talk to someone about it they might be able to help."

"No one can help me!" With that I pushed up off the seat and stormed back to my dorm. I only realized how cold I was when I got back, I was shivering. I grabbed some clothes and went for a hot shower before heading back to the gym to meet Dimitri.


	2. Chapter 2

My Saviour Chapter 2

I do not own vampire academy or any characters.

Authors note: sorry it took so long to update I had no idea where to go from there but I hope you all enjoy this story and don't forget to review love KissesInTheDark95

After my shower I got myself ready for training with Dimitri. Even if he didn't think that I was well enough to start training again I was ready to start again, I needed to start training again. I needed to be a better guardian, I can't let any one else die because of me. I got dressed in my gym clothes, packed my bag for the day and put my headphones on and left the dorm. I was early for once making it to the gym 30 minutes before our training session was supposed to start. I walked in and flipped the light switch on and chucking my bag somewhere in the corner. I decided to stretch before Dimitri arrived and turned my music up loud.

About 20 minutes went by and I felt someone taping on my shoulder, I pulled my headphones out and turned around to come face to face with Dimitri and all my friends standing behind him.

"Rose we need to talk." I just gave him a look and he continued. "Christian told me about earlier, we're all here for whenever you need to talk. You have Eddie, Mia and Christian who were all in that place with you maybe you can all get together and talk about, or Lissa she's your best friend or talk to me Roza I'm always here for you."

"I don't need to talk to anyone." I grumbled at them.

"Little Dhampir, I can see your aura it's black, dark brown, murky red. You need to stop blaming yourself." Adrian spoke up from the back of the group.

"I wish I could see Rose's aura it sounds interesting but I'm here for you Rose you can always talk to me you know that." Lissa's usual cherry voice said.

"See Rose you have so many people who care about you and want to help, please let one of us in, talk to us, explain what's going on." Christian pleaded walking towards me.

"None of you understand, you were with me in the basement you know what he was like but you weren't in the room with me and Mase!" I chocked on his name holding back to sobs that wanted to consume me. I couldn't do this tell everyone what a failure I am. I know that they blame me as well. "I can't do this, you don't understand." I mumbled as I put my headphones back in only for Christian to walk over and pull them out again.

"I can't Chris! I can't talk about it, I can't forget it and I can't bring Mason back! I killed him, I killed Mase!" I admitted it out loud and let the sobbing consume me I was pulled into someone's arms and they tried to rub soothing circles on my back. "It's all my fault, he came back for me, it's all my fault." I kept mumbling over and over again.

"Rose it's not your fault! None of us blame you for what happened. I tried to Mason back but I was too weak, we all knew what was going to happen if he went back in for you, I tried to stop him but I couldn't. I wanted to go back for you as well and try and help but Mason ran through before me, he knew what he was doing and don't for one minute think that it's your fault you didn't kill him you tried to do everything you could to save him." Christian whispered into my ear as he rocked us back and forth. I looked up at him and could see the unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

"You don't understand though, I could've fought them off when we were in the house and gotten their attention back on me but I didn't I was a coward and now one of my friends is dead, don't you dare tell me this isn't my fault!" I yelled as I pushed out of his arms and ran past everyone. I kept running until I was out of the gym and standing near the boundary line. The reads kept running down my face no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I looked up and that's when I saw him. Mason was standing about 6 feet in front of me staring at me with those sad eyes. I tried to move towards him but someone caught hold my wrist and pulled me back towards them. "Did you see him?" I asked turning around to see Dimitri with his wrapped around my wrist and Christian, Adrian, Lissa, Eddie and Mia standing there.

"See who Rose?" Dimitri asked.

"No one, never mind." I pulled my wrist free and started to walk away, maybe I was going crazy and was hallucinating him standing there at least it was friendlier then the Mason in my dreams.


End file.
